Because there have been times when shame has crushed our ability to be wholehearted, we let go of who we ought to be and embrace who we are.

Because we have not always had the courage to be imperfect, we let go of who we ought to be and embrace who we are.

Because we have struggled to have compassion for ourselves or others, we let go of who we ought to be and embrace who we are.

Because we have been afraid of our own vulnerability, we let go of who we ought to be and embrace who we are...

~ Dawn Skjei Cooley, A Litany of Wholeheartedness

We live in a world with so many hard, sharp edges. We are taught from a young age to be strong, hide our weaknesses, and project “success” to the world. So many of us walk through life wearing a mask. It is a counter-cultural act to embrace vulnerability, to be soft, open, and authentic. Our families, our workplaces, our communities, our social media, our doctor’s offices, and even our friends don’t always offer safe spaces to be fully, vulnerably ourselves.

Recently, a friend and I have been talking about what it means to live authentically, to embrace who we are, and to honor the wisdom that comes through vulnerability. We’ve discovered that when we don’t pretend to have it all figured out, we are more able notice the guidance of our intuition and to hear the voice of our inner wisdom. It’s not always comfortable to admit we don’t have the answers at our finger tips. Yet, when we take off our masks of certainty, we can sometimes find surprising insight in the questions themselves.

Being vulnerable is a willingness to sit in the unknowing. It is taking the risk of having our hearts broken. It is letting ourselves be known without fulling knowing how our true selves will be received. It is having hope in the midst of uncertainty. It is offering ourselves to another ~ our gifts, our love, our pain ~ knowing that we might be rejected.

Being vulnerable is knowing all these things and doing it anyway.

Vulnerability recognizes that there are no clear answers or sure things. Life is messy and unpredictable. Following the path of vulnerability will bring us to places that we never imagined…. Maybe beautiful places. Maybe challenging places. Maybe a combination of both.

At its core, vulnerability is about presence – about showing up as we are, without the mask. When we allow ourselves to be seen, really seen, we create space for others to do the same. Our courage can open doors. It softens the sharp edges around us and invites in a kind of shared humanity that’s often missing in our curated, controlled lives. Vulnerability becomes not only a path to our own truth, but a powerful invitation to deeper, more meaningful relationships with others – and with ourselves.

I’m not saying that we owe anyone our stories or that we have to be vulnerable with people who will use our vulnerability against us. Our hearts are too precious for that. Sometimes it is not safe to take off our mask and it is okay to recognize that and protect ourselves. I do believe, though, that it is important to find places where we can be vulnerable. Vulnerability – given and received – is a privilege. And when we do find those tender, loving people who will embrace our whole messy, broken, beautiful selves (and help us embrace our whole messy, broken, beautiful selves)….. what a gift.